CAT CALLS FROM STRANGERS

Where did this happen?

On my street in Manhattan growing up

What happened?

Every day the guys would comment on my body. I was just going through puberty and I had a body that was new to me and was provoking comments from the boys. I was so uncomfortable because I was unfamiliar with being spoken to about my body. I was very insecure about the way I looked at the time. My nose was growing faster than my face and I had breasts and a shape that no longer fit my tom boy behavior.

I would literally walk the long way to school or to get to my house to avoid the daily comments.

Who was the offender?

They were the boys I grew up with and the much older boys who would hang out in the neighborhood.

How did you feel?

I think I started hunching over so my breasts wouldn’t stick out and my mother would constantly tell me to stand straight. I felt totally out of my own control.

What was your reaction?

I had to calculate when I would leave the house and how I would get past them or around them for years. I wore loose shirts and I ended up going to an all-girls high school. It may or not be relatable but I think about that now.

INAPPROPRIATE CONVERSATION

Where did this happen?

In front of my building at 11 West 56 Street

What happened?

I asked some of the construction workers who are working on a 4 year project to PLEASE not use my store front for breakfast lunch and coffee breaks.

Who was the offender?

The Forman would lean on my white building and put his cigar out on the front. In addition, his cigar smoke would come into the entrance and the smell was not pleasant to non-cigar smokers.

I asked if he had a minute to talk and he promptly looked into his phone and said he didn’t have time to speak with me he was busy.

I told him that I was the owner of the building and I was hoping to continue to maintain its appearance through the construction period and was hoping he and the guys would kindly respect my property.

He said they aren’t doing anything wrong and to leave him alone. I asked that he no longer put his cigar out on the building and he leaped at me and started yelling to bully and intimidate me. I had my iphone in my hand so I took pictures of him and he tried to pull the phone out of my hand. As he was coming at me some of his guys came behind him and they were all coming after me. I asked if they didn’t think three men after one woman was necessary? The claimed I was pulling the woman card!

How did you feel?

I was so upset because all the years of construction around my building in NYC never have I had an incident. I am always respectful and when I tell my story about it being my building they are usually surprised that a woman and for some reason looks like me owns a building and then therefore are very considerate. This was a first! And it was an aggressive attack.

What was your reaction?

I took my photos and contacted the police and the builders. I had the photo to identify the guy which made it so much easier. I realized he had a mustache and in my stress of the interaction I didn’t even see a mustache. This is so hard to imagine since I am Miss attention to detail. The thought of how many women identify abusers incorrectly became evident to me that this in fact must be common.

He was called out on the job. The construction company put up a sign so that all the tradesman would understand the agreement. The police spoke to the foreman and were surprised when he said the reason he did this was he was protecting his men.... From me?

IN THE WORKPLACE

Where did this happen?

I had a license agreement with a company and the owner was very condescending towards women. He was taking advantage of me and my company increasingly as time went by. I wanted to try to figure out a way to rethink how he and I could work together but I was unsuccessful.

What happened?

He was misrepresenting himself as my partner and making deals with European licenses directly and leaving me out of the financial deal. Our contract was clear that the agreement was USA only. He set up an appointment in my offices for the potential partners to come and have me do the presentation. I was not told about this till the day of the appointment. When I told him I was angry that he was taking advantage of me, and he was misrepresenting me and our relationship, he told me he would take me shopping and that everything would be fine.!

Who was the offender?

A garment center stereotype, who had an understanding of women’s roles and it was definitely that they were not meant to be in the workplace.

How did you feel?

I was upset that I was taken advantage of and that I had more time left in my contract.

What was your reaction?

I did not meet with anyone. I negotiated out of the contract.

DURING JOB INTERVIEWS OR REVIEWS

Where did this happen?

I was on my first real job interview straight out of Fashion Institute of Technology.

I worked hard on my portfolio. I thought for hours about what I should wear and what I would say.

The appointment was in the garment center.

What happened?

I entered the office and the gentleman had his feet up on his desk eating a tuna sandwich. He told me to put my portfolio down and come to his desk and turn around for him! Heard my mother’s voice in my head saying over and over to get a job. I turned around as I did I was totally humiliated and ran out of the office in tears.

Who was the offender?

He was he power in the room. I was 18 years old and I felt vulnerable.

How did you feel?

My self-esteem was definitely challenged. I was feeling so badly about myself. My confidence in my work had me questioning my ability to work in this field.

What was your reaction?

I never went back the garment center to work again. I got a job at an airline in reservations to travel and see the world. To find out what I really wanted to do. My first trip was to London and it was the beginning of the 60’s revolution in London. I was there in the right place at the right time. This started my career in fashion as a designer.